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noobs,
lots of peepel email me saiyn "dude ur shit is teh pwnage!!!" "keep makin teh show" .. "funniest thing ever"... "keep pwning noobs" n tahts cool n stuff rite but here is sum of teh email dat I rote back 2
Hey jeremy,
My boyfriend sat me down and had me watch your show one day and I realised that I was lucky that he was not as addicted
to gaming as you are. Your show is very funny, I love dave, great guy. Any way, thanks for educating this n00b on the
ways of gaming, my boyfriend tried to but I just didn't understand or care. My boyfriend is a die hard gamer and
sometimes, I think he loves his computer more than me! I bought him one of your shirts today after realising my brother
had one, it will make a great birthday present if it gets here on time. :)
nachoworm
i can c how u wuld think he lieks his pc more than u.. prolly cuz its true rofl.. no grrl is beter tahn a nice rig 2 a tru gamer lol.. but its ok.. once u r comfy w/ teh fact u r #2 evrythin will b ok.. tbh its beter than bein #3 or 4 rite?
-teh_pwnerer
hey guys
i just wanted to let you know i broke my thumb when i was drunk off my ass and imitating FPS doug. i was jumpin around
sayin I CAN DANCE ALL DAY I CAN DANCE ALL DAY....BOOM HEADSHOT and i fell on my face and broke my thumb. my eye socket is
also fractured too! but it was worth it, you guys are my heroes ^.^
love always, Jill
Hey Jill,
At Pure Pwnage we are all trained professionals - do not try this at home.
-Kyle
Dear Pure Pwnage Crew-
I took my road test today, and you guys really helped me pass. I recently bought a bunch of the shirts from the site.
Today I wore the boom headshot shirt. The instructor got in the car and said to me "Ok, can I see your permit and 5 hour
certificate, FPS_Doug?" And all the nervousness I had left me as we shared a laugh. I was so surprised that the guy
being in his late 40's at least, knew about Pure Pwnage. From then on, I was very relaxed and did everything I knew I
could. So I'm just writing to say thanks. If it weren't for you guys, I probably would have failed.
So thanks a lot,
Nick
its a good thing u didnt have ur <3<3<3 shirt on lol.. fag
j/k
-teh_pwnerer
Hey whats up? i herd you liek pwn at games... heh thats cool you kno cause i liek use to play CS then later CS:S bought
HL back in the day at a second hand store for like 20$ (the platimum edition mind you came with Half-Life and all
the...well other versions u kno Opfor BlueShift even had TFC) before "Steam" came out wich was cool cause i was the 1st
to register it with STEAM and now i dont even need the disks anymore i just login with my steam account and BOOM all my
games are waiting for me not like these noobs that just baught HL2 with the source engine cause of all the hoopla from
all us HCL's hell if doug plays as much Steam as i used to i wouldnt be suprised if ive faught agianst him or by him at
one time... i was in a CS:S clan for a short time {WTF} Splice, fun times you kno but after awhile i swapped to Linux and
thats not as compatible with new bleeding edge games like WOW and CS:S our clan server even had a bunch of PP wav's from
your site cause u guys are teh L337, but after awhile i just came to the conclusion that my bandwidth though high, wasnt
enough to realy pwn... like from back in the Quake days and Quake CTF, ive always been and prolly always will be a HPB
but what we like to think is the higher the ping the more skills you gotta have in order to own gotta think a few
milliseconds ahead and anticipate other peoples moves unlike a LPB that just shoots at whatever he sees and if they got a
lower ping then me they prolly got a better computer then me, so thell own me no matter what. i mean up untill the last
days of me playin CS:S i was in the upper bracket always, id pwn n00bs like left and right, ive never been to a LAN party
before but i almost garuntee id own, where exactly at in canada do you guys live? im down here in cincinnati ohio which
is just a pond away from canada, spent many hours googling canada and citizenship shit but since i droped outa highschool
senior yr... i cant do anything without a highschool diploma. evidently its easier to "defect" to canada once you're
registered with the US military then a highschool dropout, hell the'll even give you a free place to stay for awhile till
you can get on your feet, and pay your own bills etc, i dont even kno why im telling you guys this, but since im already
halfway though the thought i might as well finish, ever checkout that one site hackcanada? its pretty cool, ive been
realy interested in programming for along time but without a teacher to teach you shit like that it can take some time,
practicly the only program i can make is helloworld in "C" language but if u wanna get down to the lame shit any noob can
type up a batch script "program" to do that, '@echo on ; echo "hello world!" ' like there i just wrote a program to say
hello world in M$ batch, :P i got tired of the microsoft OS crap after awhile.... all the reboots all the
reinstalls all the BS and ive since moved to linux OpenSource and it kicks some major ass the cmdline is wonderous and
the options neverending like take ping for example do a pingt -help or /? on ur windows box... what does it output...
now checkout this "ping --help" from my "bash shell"
root@hostname:/home/# ping --help
Usage: ping [-LRUbdfnqrvVaA] [-c count] [-i interval] [-w deadline]
[-p pattern] [-s packetsize] [-t ttl] [-I interface or address]
[-M mtu discovery hint] [-S sndbuf]
[ -T timestamp option ] [ -Q tos ] [hop1 ...] destination
root@hostname:/home/
thats alot of different variations and options of that single cmd more info can be found doing a 'man ping'
http://fgouget.free.fr/bing/ping_src-man.shtml
so as you can guess my time is kinda full from playing games like this, but then agian ive been fucking around with
oldschool games, and emulators. now that i can handle shit from atari pitfall,tron to playstation bushido blade though
not exactly legal on all fronts theres alot of not too understandable terms when it comes to old game roms etc like "oh
you can have it on your computer if you owned the game at one time and wierd laws/rules like that... i play these games
and emulators on my modded xbox wich isnt exactly legal either gets down to the real edge of technology and law, have you
ever herd of XBMC? well stop by the irc sometime you can find me @ irc.2600.net #oh2600 as "Gnub" unless your too leet
to chat without graphic avatars running around... wich reminds me of a cool book i dunno if you've herd about it
"snowcrash" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snowcrash and i have every episode of PP on my xbox, and i look forward to
loading more onto it... just a few questions before i pass out, do you seriously like "bawls" you kno i drank a bottle
once when i was in a NY cyber cafe playing DoD:Source but i think it tasted like ass, id prefer a beer over
that crap anyday, hopefully you got somesort of advertisement cash for that becasue i think it taste like dog, and i cant
think of what else i was gonna ask but i bet dude is getting bad ass scores in his film class because there is realy some
"Artistic" talent in alot of those shots he does and the video game movie voice overs,,, love em i used to tell people
while playing CS:S it be cool to make a movie dubbed using demo's from CS:S and you guys PULLED IT OFF! sweetness
especially when doug ran back and forth through the hallway at the "clinic" that was a special moment for me since im
also a CS:S nut "everybody runs faster with a knife" heh priiceless shit, oh yeah... is english daves natural language?
cause it sure doesnt sound like it, dont get me wrong i love dave hes cool as shit, but damn its like he's "acting" or
something that low low low pitched "hi im dave" voice... well im still trying to figure all u guys out... well i guess
thats enough for now... dont want to keep you away from your gaming
-gnubster
totaly..
-teh_pwnerer
Jeremy u think ur good... i'll own u like the noob did in episode 4... In episode 4, the "master" said u must own in every game... U Want to prove that ur a an uber pro... Reply back to this message and face me 1vs1 in a duel, My Game Choice... Reply back if u got the guts.
lol he wanted 2 play Barbie Horse Adventures: Mystery Ride rofl
still pwned him
gg
-teh_pwnerer
pwnerer,
good job pwning all the noobs and stuff. however, I had a question about pwning. I read that ninjas can totally kill anyone they want to (1). are ninjas noobs? can you pwn them? even if they were flipping out and stuff and like cutting off heads?
ty,
joe
lol ninjas r teh bigest n00bs omfg.. 1 tiem this warrior ninja thott itd b all funny 2 loot teh devout gloves so i thott it was funny 2 get my orig horde guild campin his corpse 4 3 days until he started 2 cry n call gms n stuf who jus lol @ him roflol..
-teh_pwnerer
Free my asian brother, you silly white barbarian
Greetings my pastey white friend,
I am the Chairman of the Asian Freedom Society. You are a chubby white devil that has taken one of my Brothers into bondage. Yes, I have seen how you have enslaved him you white barbarian; He is forced to participate in your demeaning (yet entertaining) videos. Furthermore, you disgrace him by taking away his true Asian Name and LABELING HIM DAVE?!?!?!? How could you defile his true name with such a bland and WESTERN thing! I understand that you doughboys don't have any realization of your bastard behavior so I thought this e-mail would help you. So I shall make you an offer my flaky white friend.
Release Dave from bondage or give him his own special appearance on an episode like you did for your other white barbarian friend, Douglas.
Unite all Asians within the nation,
Stop the alienation,
Prepare for the invasion,
Purge the infection.
Yours truly,
Mr. ^_^
dave is free 2 leaf teh show @ ne time lol but who else is gonna pay him 3 bowls of rice / week?
u wanna c more dave? lemme go tell kyle 2 maek ep 9 all about dave n he can jus sit ther n cook n say nothin lol that would be so pro lol n peeps wuld raely wanna watch that looooooll!!!1!!!
ur a tol genius rofl
-teh_pwnerer
really cool episodes. just one question. why does the t-shirt say: i pwn n00bs
everybody pwns n00bs haha
wear a shirt wich says i pwn pros
ID Project
lol it sez i pwn n00bs bcuz evry1 is a n00b compared 2 me rofl
-teh_pwnerer
I just finished watching the forth episode of your show and it was the coolest and funniest so far. I love the parody of Kill Bill Vol. 2 even though the movie itself was pretty lame compared to Vol. 1 and the one of Star Wars was classic. The hanging ending was very cool, now I'm thinking if teh_pwnerer and fps doug might actually hang out together again when half life 2 gets in the picture, only time will tell.
Keep Up the Awesome Work,
{WTF}Asmodeus5150
dood, *i* will tell - last i herd doug hurt himself runnin with a nife lol.. hes not gonna b in teh show.. n ima tell kyle rite now not 2 put him in teh show nemore..
-teh_pwnerer
d00d,
I'm a girl and I play w3!! I guess you're right though.. my BF plays UT2k4 and UT2k4>sex!!
T_T
Cries.
Nellie <- must be teh fugly if headshots pwn sex
Post Scriptum: We both dl and watch all ur episodes together!!! Good JoRb!
nellie
lol ur bf sounds liek a toal n00b.. ut2k4 lol.. so.. uhh.. liek.. u wanna b my gf or sumthin?
-teh_pwnerer
Great job on episode 4 guys ... that shit pwns so bad .. i almost went nuts when i found out episode 4 was available for download today (i've been checking it every day for like 2 months) Also great job on the music love the songs haha. I was wondering if you guys were planning on making any T-Shirts or hats or shit that say Pure Pwnage or I Pwn Noobs on them .. you could make some cash off that .. i know i'd buy it lol but anyways great job on that you guys pwn.. can't wait for episode 5,6,7,8,9,10, or however far you guys take it.. have a good one.
Rabbit.
hye n00b! we got liek a bunch of shirts n stuf in teh store now!1 n kyle wants 2 keep makin teh show 4 a long tiem cuz he thinks hes pro n liek hollywood peeps r gonna wanna give him $$$ 4 it n stuf lolol.. i just liek makin it so that peeps no that i pwn in case they didnt alreddy rofl..
ps. ur alias is liek gg lol.. toly non.. u need a new more uber name.. sumthin liek DeSTRoYeR661.. taht shit pwns so hard!
-teh_pwnerer
Your Show is Great man, after watching all 4 Episodes I pwn like 10 times more. Anyways I wanted to know why you dont play MMORPGS, I mean it takes alot more skill to pwn it up in a game like DAoC then it Does in Zero-Hour.
-Phatty
glad 2 hear u pwn more.. u c kyle doesnt think im actualy helping n00bs liek u but u c kyle!~! i am!!
re: mmos take skill = ROFLOLOFLROLF!@FDOLFOLRODLOF!!FOLFORLFOLW!!!11!
-teh_pwnerer
Does Kyle sing for a band? His singing is way to good to not be fully utilized. Also, I'm not really a fan of Zero Hour or "pwning" I just watch Pure Pwnage because Jeremy is cute.
Stacey
i toly pwn kyle in singin.. n kyle sux @ guitar so.. uhh.. liek.. u wanna b my gf or sumthin?
-teh_pwnerer
How can you pwn so many noobs with your nub thumb roller mouse, nub
Chris Wagar
ask ur mom
-teh_pwnerer
I wactehed eevry eopisode of Pure Pwnage, it is aewsome. Eipsode 2 were gud, them girls dint undestand micro!11 OMGZ!11 lolol thy hate pwnerz because the n00blets. ROFL, LOLLERBLADESR. Cynt wait 2 for to CEE epsiddode 3. See j00 later pwner, PS. KYLe is noobeh, but hes still c00l
Blan J
dood liek lern 2 spell lol noob rofl
-teh_pwnerer
your so pro i like youre movies, but ehm if your really pro you put this on your website and play me
[TL]REDWARRIOR
we playd. i pwned him. tehn kyle pwned him. lol gg noob no re.
here is teh replay (C&C Generals - Zero hour required to view).. lol when i saw he wuz such a noob i wuz roflol i stopt my bo
hEY IM A WC3 TFT PLAYER AND i DONT APPRECIATE YOU SAYING IM LIKE NEVER GONNA HAVE SEX N JUNK SO ERM IF YOU COULD EDIT THAT OUT OF YOUR MOVIE THAT WOULD BE THX. aLSO YOU ARE FUNNY BUT WC3 ROOLZ BECAUSE I SAID SO, THX. mY FRIEND PLAYS CC OR WHATVEVR AND HE SAID HE WOULD KILL YOU IN THE FACE A WHOLE BUNCH, THX DIE.
Asdasd Asdasdasd
jeremy: this email is so funy taht kyle wants 2 reply 2 it 2
kyle: hi
jeremy: so liek.. ur gay lol pwned gg gl hf
kyle: I just think it's funny how you imply in your email that you have never had sex, and that you think editing our video will change that.
jeremy: roflol
kyle: and, regardless of the level your hero reaches, there is no spell powerful enough to bring a girl into your bedroom.
jeremy: omfg pwned gg no re
-teh_pwnerer and Kyle
spanking show man realy cool, just remember you can sell everquest cracters for lots of money...i only say cause your computer crap looks lame, and of being nooblike.... keep it real
Trey Stark
Hey noob,
mayb if liek 1 day my nutsack fell off id liek start playin mmorpgs lol but wile i stil got balls i figur i shuld use them rofl
-teh_pwnerer
OMFG DUDE ROTFLOL your show is hillarious but the question has come to mind...are you actually like that in real life or do you just act stupid for the show...i mean practicing your micro at an ATM and acting like you're microin next to a girl...dude...your shit is hillarious but ...are you seriously like that?
Michael Book
hye noob,
wat do u meen "seriously like that"? dood i reely am taht fast at teh atm it ent actin stupid i can get 10 bucks in 4 seconds i pwn noobs liek i do in the show in real lief!!
lol r u 2 noob 2 c taht? rofl lol noob
-teh_pwnerer
WHAT IS UR ZERO NAME SO I CAN U KNOW LIKE PWN U AND STUFF ON ZERO HOUR
Hector Calderon
noob,
rofl lol so many peepel aks me taht i cant tel u cuz tehn evry1 wood try 2 play me all teh time i probly pwned u liek 10 times alreddy newayz lol
-teh_pwnerer
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