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Pr0n Jokes


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7 replies to this topic

#1
It's ME!

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Hopefully this will be allowed in this section.


QUOTE
A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, the computer advised him that he would now need to enter a password......... something he will use to log on.
The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention.
So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife what he was entering by stating each letter out loud as he typed.....

P...


E...


N...


I...


S...


His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:

***PASSWORD REJECTED .........
NOT LONG ENOUGH***


There's plenty more from where that came from.

Edited by It's ME!, 07 April 2010 - 04:44 PM.


#2
PlasmaNuke

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What do you do when you come across an elephant?

Wipe it off and say you're sorry.


Two friends are in the woods, one of them stops to pee in a bush. He gets bit by a venomous snake right in the penis. The other calls a doctor and says "Doctor, my friend's been bit by a poisonous snake in the woods, what should I do?" The doctor replied "You're going to have to suck out the venom." The friend says "Okay, thank you." and hangs up. The victim says "What'd he say?" His friend says "You're gonna die."

That's all I got. icon_razz.gif

#3
It's ME!

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Those are pretty funny. Here's another one.

QUOTE
Yard Work


One Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in my lawn chair drinking beer and watching my wife mow the lawn.

The neighbor lady from across the street was so outraged at this that she came over and shouted at me, "You should be hung!"

I calmly replied, "I am - that's why she cuts the grass!"

Edited by It's ME!, 07 April 2010 - 05:02 PM.


#4
The B.I.V.

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QUOTE (PlasmaNuke @ Apr 7 2010, 05:51 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
What do you do when you come across an elephant?

Wipe it off and say you're sorry.


Two friends are in the woods, one of them stops to pee in a bush. He gets bit by a venomous snake right in the penis. The other calls a doctor and says "Doctor, my friend's been bit by a poisonous snake in the woods, what should I do?" The doctor replied "You're going to have to suck out the venom." The friend says "Okay, thank you." and hangs up. The victim says "What'd he say?" His friend says "You're gonna die."

That's all I got. icon_razz.gif

I heard a different variation on that one:

A man goes into the doctor complaining about chest pains. The doctor concludes that he's under a lot of stress. He pulls the man's wife aside and tells her: "I want you to have sex with him once a week." As they're leaving the man asks his wife: "What did the doctor tell you?" The wife says: "You're going to die."

Brandon
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#5
Lord Hardcore

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How do you get the Dick out of Richard?
Pull.

#6
Dirge

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What did the Banana say to the Vibrator?
Why are you the one shaking? In the end she'll be eating me

What goes in hard and stiff and comes out wet and sticky?
Bubblegum


#7
It's ME!

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This is a real situation.

So there is a tense courtroom drama. The prosecutor is representing a hooker and says to the judge:
"Sir, the client was attacked my the defendant and suffered a broken jaw and some cracked ribs."

Defense Attorney:
"Your honour, if I may interrupt! My client didn't attack her. She suffered due to hazards of the sex trade!"

#8
BILLY AGE 8

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That sweater is very becoming on you, of course, if i was on you i'd be cumming too.




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