Sign In
Create Account
Well about 8 months ago everything was perfect. I had great friends, my sister was still homicidal and crazy but the violence really toned down as she had started "Disappearing" from home more frequently allowing for more peace and calm amongst my household. I worked bad hours. 1:50-10:20pm. I am a morning person so that was hell for me, But I became used to it. I had great co-workers. Chris, a friend of mine from high school, and Killoran, a Girl I met at work. We had a party of 3-5 people every night playing Mario Kart DS from the time we got off work, to about 3 or 4 in the morning. Killoran and I became very attached and flirty with each other right off the bat. Lo and behold I quickly found out she played video games. Score right? (For those wanting to know what she looks like, Imagine Melonqueen, but without the melons
). Quite literally the best of friends, and near inseparable. Well, we were inseparable at work, and have been told by many people that we were cute together, we should go out blah blab blah. Even random Customers in my bakery would walk up to me and say that. I never really saw her like that. We had a lot in common, yeah, and could joke around for hours. Yes. But you can't date someone at work without making shit all awkward. We shared a ton of the same interests and really did enjoy each others company. Eventually the Nagging got to me and I figured why not?So I managed to collect my Balls of steel and ask her out. It has been 7 years since I lst dated a woman/Girl/Chick. I just find it really hard to find someone who isn't all ditsy and such. Not a lot of women interest me. My parents think I'm gay because its been so long since the last time I brought a girl into the house =/ I am more of the romantic type rather than....The other type?
So I am about to ask her out one night we are alone and such and it goes quiet for a moment, and when I'm about to make my move (figured I drop it out of the blue). I know for a fact that she didn't see it coming. Thats when she spoke first.
"okay you've been asking a lot why I've been so sad tonight"
"Yeah?"
"I guess I'll tell you"
"mmkay. Its not overly depressing is it?"
"Well when I was 17, I got married, to the love of my life, and close to 7 months later he shot himself. Pow right between the eyes. His name was Jason. This is something I'll never forget"
The rest of the night was silent but for the mashing of D pads amongst the waves crashing along the shore of the ocean.
I didn't see her for the next couple of days but we were all cheery and at it again the next time i saw her. D'awwwwww. But this has always loomed over me now every time I see her or hang out with her. And knowing that she hadn't told anyone else this and such. Such a deep dark thing.
We kept doing our thing Mario Kart and such, hanging out and making fun of other bakery's listening to music, chilling at work and all that for the next couple of months. Things started to slow down. By that I mean its getting colder, and my friends were getting lazier to hang out. Not Killoran though she was fine. I kept trying to arrange a time where we could meet up/talk. I finally managed to get a hold of her one on one and brought her to a park (Hurrrrr). We started talking and such about life goals and futures and such. I then Grabbed life by the balls, squeezed them until the titanium juices dribbled out, and let them dip onto my steel ones. I managed to ask her out. And, surprisingly my tongue was smooth. Very smooth. I was so surprised how intricate and sweet the words I spilled from my lips were. T'was awesome. She was totally impressed with that, until I mentioned the fact that she looked like her mother. Heh, Just a precaution to those who don't already know, DONT SAY THAT EVER! So we hung out, laughed giggled, talked some more, checked out some pictures on her iMac (ugh)and called her a cab and before she got in I said
"Hey I never got your answer"
"...I'll think about it"
She smiled back at me as she was driven off.
Total Balls.
So the next couple of weeks I see her at work a lot, we're doing fine and such but she starts to get a little more off every day. Weird. She didn't seem as happy as she used to be. So I kept nagging her we should hang out, whats going on? etc etc. We eventually do hang out. She tells me about how her father is kicking her out of her house, she can't afford rent ( 700 bucks 1 bedroom in Victoria, and its rare to find one that is vacant). And all the jobs suck in Victoria paying dick all at 9 bucks an hour =/ You need at least 14/hr to make it on your own. Then she tells me more depressing shit. We go to my old grade school and sit on the swings there. So many good and bad memories. About to make another. She tells me of her two previous miscarriages. Scared the fuck out of me. 21, been married, miscarried twice. oh and how she stabbed her brother and some other stuff. It was more depressing. This shit is all real.
Balls of steel again.
"So. Have you Decided on us yet?"
"Yeah I have"
"Frederic, you are such a Nice guy....."
*Fuck*
"I really hate relationships, I'm really bad and controlling don't like the dependancy Blah blah blah" (women
)"So.....?
"No."
We talked for a bit longer, called her a cab, and sent her on her way. Then she blew me a kiss as she drove off into the distance. I flipped the cab off when she was too far away to see. Stood there for a minute, Sighed, and then walked back home. At least it wasn't me right?
Well the past 4 months She has been avoiding me quite a while. No reason at all. I figured I just put her in an awkward spot, give her some space and all that. Some days she'd come to work and be really really depressed and didn't want to talk to anyone. And others she would be super happy. Weird. She wouldn't hang out or anything but kept on telling me "We would lets do it c'mon we gotta hang out"
The one time we managed to set shit up to hang out. I was stood up. Fun.
But, being the geek that I am, trusting and all that I let it slide.
The last 3 weeks of work she missed out on. just didn't show up. Everyone was pissed worried and confused about her. All her family and friends. pepole were surprised when I said I had no Idea what was going on. Figured I'd Just give her some space. Facebook status says she's "IN A RELATIONSHIP" (facebookan drama) with "SOME GUY" (he has a name, but I don't want to know). Tonight I found out she's pregnant.
21 and pregnant. Living off a 10$ hour wage. Not going to work. owes a couple of thousand in bills. and there is a list that stacks on and on but thats not the point. Shit happens right?
THE POINT IS:
If you are going to tell someone "no I don't do relationships" and be nice and all that and then turn around and go as nearly far as possible with one, make sure you tear that person out of your life! Or at least, tell them "hey, you're a fucktard for saying that And you aren't my type"
So much less pain.
;__;
(This is also Dirge's longest, non-thread De-railing post EVAR. Make use of it)
EDITED OP FOR REFERENCE
General update
So yeah, she hasn't been showing up for work the past couple of weeks, yes mostly due to her nervous breakdowns.
So anyways, all of us at the bakery are confused as to what her next move is, no one has heard or spoken to her in days and all that. So I though I would Roll for initiative and finally see what she's been up to on the internet. Now, as some of you no doubt may now have concerns (LOLOLO SILENT DUUUURGE IS A CREEP). I never do this shit. I felt so gross doing it, but I wanted answers, and so thought the means were just. I managed to trace her to Various forum boards Adult swim Forums, Pearl Jam message board, myspace etc (lol @ moist genital warts). Adult swim Forums is where I found the meat of what I wanted (btw worst forum board EVAR. Impossible to navigate, shitty design, and mostly general spam. I love you guys <3). Anyways, She's quite famous there. She is like the Weiman of those boards. Except, she has more posts. Thats right
But unfortunately there are a lot of triple posts and a couple of cases of multi accounting, So Weiman wins here by a neck Her posts go back as to early 2004, when she got married and how happy she was (hard stuff to read now knowing what happened) and a lot of general sadness about how she missed him. Not what I was looking for. More recent stuff.
So.....Adult swim boards....They have a wierd community. I don't know how to word it exactly. A lot of people from those boards though start long distance relationships on the boards and then meet up later IRL. So the current man that she is with right now she's been keeping contact with him for about 3 years, and I guess its only been official (to facebook status lawl) until about a month ago. So I take it this man drove all the way up from Florida, knocked her up (myspace says she's expecting) and he's heading back in a couple of days. Relationships do bug her, and re reading more about her reminded me of what we talked about that night, and made me even more thankful that I am not with her (I can list em off if you guys like, but its a damn long list, will only do this by request). But still, she was like (and still more or less is) my best friend for like the last year of my life, and I don't want to see her...well throw herself in a pit of shit. Figuratively speaking. So I guess I flipped out over nothing
But still that brings me to the point, why isn't she at work?Lurked moar, and managed to find that yeah there are lots of stress points in her life right now, she's mentioned them before, and she's thinking of moving back to Massachusetts, or Nova Scotia.Guess she does just need some alone time to figure out her life. Seriously.
Anyways, I felt (once again mentioning this) TERRIBLE for having to pull some "E-Stalking" or whatever like that (don't worry guys, you are safe from me
) But I'm going to let her know what I did.I am very curious as to why she keeps trying to have kids spite not being able to. Maybe she has a fetus fetish? I met someone like that before
Who know's. I am going to ask her that tonight.Post results?
y/n
Back to top
