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Lying to others hurts them more than you.

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#1
Dirge

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I really don't like sharing RL drama here on the Internet. But I'd like to be vocal with this one. Massive QQ's here. Turn back now, you've been warned. I will put a brief summary at the bottom so those who don't have time on thier hands, or don't have patience, won't feel left out.

Well about 8 months ago everything was perfect. I had great friends, my sister was still homicidal and crazy but the violence really toned down as she had started "Disappearing" from home more frequently allowing for more peace and calm amongst my household. I worked bad hours. 1:50-10:20pm. I am a morning person so that was hell for me, But I became used to it. I had great co-workers. Chris, a friend of mine from high school, and Killoran, a Girl I met at work. We had a party of 3-5 people every night playing Mario Kart DS from the time we got off work, to about 3 or 4 in the morning. Killoran and I became very attached and flirty with each other right off the bat. Lo and behold I quickly found out she played video games. Score right? (For those wanting to know what she looks like, Imagine Melonqueen, but without the melons icon_wink.gif ). Quite literally the best of friends, and near inseparable. Well, we were inseparable at work, and have been told by many people that we were cute together, we should go out blah blab blah. Even random Customers in my bakery would walk up to me and say that. I never really saw her like that. We had a lot in common, yeah, and could joke around for hours. Yes. But you can't date someone at work without making shit all awkward. We shared a ton of the same interests and really did enjoy each others company. Eventually the Nagging got to me and I figured why not?

So I managed to collect my Balls of steel and ask her out. It has been 7 years since I lst dated a woman/Girl/Chick. I just find it really hard to find someone who isn't all ditsy and such. Not a lot of women interest me. My parents think I'm gay because its been so long since the last time I brought a girl into the house =/ I am more of the romantic type rather than....The other type?

So I am about to ask her out one night we are alone and such and it goes quiet for a moment, and when I'm about to make my move (figured I drop it out of the blue). I know for a fact that she didn't see it coming. Thats when she spoke first.

"okay you've been asking a lot why I've been so sad tonight"

"Yeah?"

"I guess I'll tell you"

"mmkay. Its not overly depressing is it?"

"Well when I was 17, I got married, to the love of my life, and close to 7 months later he shot himself. Pow right between the eyes. His name was Jason. This is something I'll never forget"

The rest of the night was silent but for the mashing of D pads amongst the waves crashing along the shore of the ocean.

I didn't see her for the next couple of days but we were all cheery and at it again the next time i saw her. D'awwwwww. But this has always loomed over me now every time I see her or hang out with her. And knowing that she hadn't told anyone else this and such. Such a deep dark thing.

We kept doing our thing Mario Kart and such, hanging out and making fun of other bakery's listening to music, chilling at work and all that for the next couple of months. Things started to slow down. By that I mean its getting colder, and my friends were getting lazier to hang out. Not Killoran though she was fine. I kept trying to arrange a time where we could meet up/talk. I finally managed to get a hold of her one on one and brought her to a park (Hurrrrr). We started talking and such about life goals and futures and such. I then Grabbed life by the balls, squeezed them until the titanium juices dribbled out, and let them dip onto my steel ones. I managed to ask her out. And, surprisingly my tongue was smooth. Very smooth. I was so surprised how intricate and sweet the words I spilled from my lips were. T'was awesome. She was totally impressed with that, until I mentioned the fact that she looked like her mother. Heh, Just a precaution to those who don't already know, DONT SAY THAT EVER! So we hung out, laughed giggled, talked some more, checked out some pictures on her iMac (ugh)and called her a cab and before she got in I said

"Hey I never got your answer"

"...I'll think about it"

She smiled back at me as she was driven off.

Total Balls.

So the next couple of weeks I see her at work a lot, we're doing fine and such but she starts to get a little more off every day. Weird. She didn't seem as happy as she used to be. So I kept nagging her we should hang out, whats going on? etc etc. We eventually do hang out. She tells me about how her father is kicking her out of her house, she can't afford rent ( 700 bucks 1 bedroom in Victoria, and its rare to find one that is vacant). And all the jobs suck in Victoria paying dick all at 9 bucks an hour =/ You need at least 14/hr to make it on your own. Then she tells me more depressing shit. We go to my old grade school and sit on the swings there. So many good and bad memories. About to make another. She tells me of her two previous miscarriages. Scared the fuck out of me. 21, been married, miscarried twice. oh and how she stabbed her brother and some other stuff. It was more depressing. This shit is all real.

Balls of steel again.

"So. Have you Decided on us yet?"

"Yeah I have"

"Frederic, you are such a Nice guy....."

*Fuck*

"I really hate relationships, I'm really bad and controlling don't like the dependancy Blah blah blah" (women icon_razz.gif)

"So.....?

"No."

We talked for a bit longer, called her a cab, and sent her on her way. Then she blew me a kiss as she drove off into the distance. I flipped the cab off when she was too far away to see. Stood there for a minute, Sighed, and then walked back home. At least it wasn't me right?

Well the past 4 months She has been avoiding me quite a while. No reason at all. I figured I just put her in an awkward spot, give her some space and all that. Some days she'd come to work and be really really depressed and didn't want to talk to anyone. And others she would be super happy. Weird. She wouldn't hang out or anything but kept on telling me "We would lets do it c'mon we gotta hang out"

The one time we managed to set shit up to hang out. I was stood up. Fun.

But, being the geek that I am, trusting and all that I let it slide.

The last 3 weeks of work she missed out on. just didn't show up. Everyone was pissed worried and confused about her. All her family and friends. pepole were surprised when I said I had no Idea what was going on. Figured I'd Just give her some space. Facebook status says she's "IN A RELATIONSHIP" (facebookan drama) with "SOME GUY" (he has a name, but I don't want to know). Tonight I found out she's pregnant.

21 and pregnant. Living off a 10$ hour wage. Not going to work. owes a couple of thousand in bills. and there is a list that stacks on and on but thats not the point. Shit happens right?






THE POINT IS:

If you are going to tell someone "no I don't do relationships" and be nice and all that and then turn around and go as nearly far as possible with one, make sure you tear that person out of your life! Or at least, tell them "hey, you're a fucktard for saying that And you aren't my type"

So much less pain.

;__;


/QQ


(This is also Dirge's longest, non-thread De-railing post EVAR. Make use of it)

EDITED OP FOR REFERENCE

General update

So yeah, she hasn't been showing up for work the past couple of weeks, yes mostly due to her nervous breakdowns.

So anyways, all of us at the bakery are confused as to what her next move is, no one has heard or spoken to her in days and all that. So I though I would Roll for initiative and finally see what she's been up to on the internet. Now, as some of you no doubt may now have concerns (LOLOLO SILENT DUUUURGE IS A CREEP). I never do this shit. I felt so gross doing it, but I wanted answers, and so thought the means were just. I managed to trace her to Various forum boards Adult swim Forums, Pearl Jam message board, myspace etc (lol @ moist genital warts). Adult swim Forums is where I found the meat of what I wanted (btw worst forum board EVAR. Impossible to navigate, shitty design, and mostly general spam. I love you guys <3). Anyways, She's quite famous there. She is like the Weiman of those boards. Except, she has more posts. Thats right icon_wink.gif But unfortunately there are a lot of triple posts and a couple of cases of multi accounting, So Weiman wins here by a neck icon_wink.gif

Her posts go back as to early 2004, when she got married and how happy she was (hard stuff to read now knowing what happened) and a lot of general sadness about how she missed him. Not what I was looking for. More recent stuff.

So.....Adult swim boards....They have a wierd community. I don't know how to word it exactly. A lot of people from those boards though start long distance relationships on the boards and then meet up later IRL. So the current man that she is with right now she's been keeping contact with him for about 3 years, and I guess its only been official (to facebook status lawl) until about a month ago. So I take it this man drove all the way up from Florida, knocked her up (myspace says she's expecting) and he's heading back in a couple of days. Relationships do bug her, and re reading more about her reminded me of what we talked about that night, and made me even more thankful that I am not with her (I can list em off if you guys like, but its a damn long list, will only do this by request). But still, she was like (and still more or less is) my best friend for like the last year of my life, and I don't want to see her...well throw herself in a pit of shit. Figuratively speaking. So I guess I flipped out over nothing icon_razz.gif But still that brings me to the point, why isn't she at work?

Lurked moar, and managed to find that yeah there are lots of stress points in her life right now, she's mentioned them before, and she's thinking of moving back to Massachusetts, or Nova Scotia.Guess she does just need some alone time to figure out her life. Seriously.

Anyways, I felt (once again mentioning this) TERRIBLE for having to pull some "E-Stalking" or whatever like that (don't worry guys, you are safe from me icon_wink.gif ) But I'm going to let her know what I did.

I am very curious as to why she keeps trying to have kids spite not being able to. Maybe she has a fetus fetish? I met someone like that before icon_razz.gif Who know's. I am going to ask her that tonight.

Post results?
y/n


#2
Joby

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Ahh man, I hate to say it but it sounds like you're the "nice guy" type. The one girls like only as friends..

Really sucks to see her put you through all that. I'd much rather have girls be completely honest than to let us off easy.

Aside from that I really have nothing else to say, there's plenty of fish in the sea, what happens happens, I really don't have anything to say because I haven't been in a situation like yours.

Hope you pull through this.
QUOTE (Plasmic Fury @ Oct 30 2010, 04:36 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
brb not picking up any woman

A completely unbiased review...

#3
Garamiah

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Doesn't sound like the kinda chick you'd be able to spend along time with anyway.

Sucks tho
QUOTE (Plasmic Fury @ Jul 11 2010, 08:49 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I was in the ocean and I had a frizbee, and some 8/10's were like THROW IT TO US and I just pretended I didnt hear them and swam quickly back to beach.


#4
Weiman

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It's pretty clear to me that this was beyond your control. She was traumatized by her husband committing suicide, and that can have consequences like this.


QUOTE (Weiman @ Apr 5 2009, 01:09 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
This is exactly what has been going on through the entire thread, and it's not the first time either.
You come to us for advice..you just spell out what you want to get, and then ask us if it is okay, and we have to explain why it isn't. That's the world upside down.. If you would just say 'hey guys, I have an X amount of money, what should I buy?' Then this would be over in 2-3 posts, not 2-3 pages.
QUOTE (Kazzerax @ May 21 2009, 09:01 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Every time someone goes against Weiman's sig I feel like they should be bludgeoned for a few minutes in the head to feel the headache I feel when I realize someone really IS that dense.

#5
Ineffable

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Sucks dude... worse off for her.

#6
teh_metalizer

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icon_surprised.gif fuck icon_surprised.gif

#7
Shadowstar

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Dodged a bullet.

#8
Mantrousse

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Yeah, she could be pretty cool but i don't think you really want to be going into a relationship with someone like that.

I mean, she's pregnant again? That's kinda fruity.

#9
Dohregard

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lol, bitches.

you are lucky she didn't attach to you, or else that could have been YOUR kid.

#10
Mantrousse

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QUOTE (Dohregard @ Dec 29 2008, 01:04 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
you are lucky she didn't attach to you, or else that could have been YOUR kid.


Ahaha. However, if i'm honest my bro, you're pretty stupid if you don't take the proper precautions to avoid pregnancy happening. Of course you could take the precautions and she could still become pregnant, but it really doesn't sound like that for this girl - lol.

Besides: i could've sworn it shows you care MUCH more when you say "let's be safe" rather than "FLOOD GATES R OPENIN!!!".

#11
Dohregard

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QUOTE (Mantrousse @ Dec 29 2008, 07:37 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Ahaha. However, if i'm honest my bro, you're pretty stupid if you don't take the proper precautions to avoid pregnancy happening. Of course you could take the precautions and she could still become pregnant, but it really doesn't sound like that for this girl - lol.

Besides: i could've sworn it shows you care MUCH more when you say "let's be safe" rather than "FLOOD GATES R OPENIN!!!".



this chick obviously didn't want anything other than passion, and since Dirgey wanted more than that... she got scared and looked for a penis. And she probably thought it'd be more fun if the dude didn't wear a condom and or didn't give a fuck.

And Dirgey, being a dude, could easily be convinced that pulling out is a safe way not to get pregnant.

#12
Christron

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QUOTE (Silent_Dirge @ Dec 29 2008, 03:20 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
(This is also Dirge's longest, non-thread De-railing post EVAR. Make use of it)


You should be looking at this as the bullet you dodged that you were trying to catch to the face.

#13
Mantrousse

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QUOTE (Dohregard @ Dec 29 2008, 01:44 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
And Dirgey, being a dude, could easily be convinced that pulling out is a safe way not to get pregnant.


We're not the ones to judge though, eyyy!

#14
Dohregard

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QUOTE (Mantrousse @ Dec 29 2008, 08:04 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
We're not the ones to judge though, eyyy!


as I am not a virgin, I am one to judge. icon_razz.gif


I've been tempted to do it without a condom (and no other birth control)... and it took a lot in me to say no... lol!

cuz you right there and your both already naked... AHHH!!!

#15
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That sucks but it sounds like you dodged a bullet with that one. She's 21, pregnant, in a mountain of debt and seems to have an issue with honesty.

I know it sounds like a complete cliche but you will find someone that will appreciate you, shit for brains obviously didnt.


And there is nothing wrong with being the 'nice guy', you may not get everyone you want but when you do she'll appreciate you 10x more than some random chick just looking for an easy way out with a dick attached.

QUOTE (Dohregard @ Dec 29 2008, 03:04 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I've been tempted to do it without a condom (and no other birth control)... and it took a lot in me to say no... lol!
cuz you right there and your both already naked... AHHH!!!



You dont have to say no, instead of that horrible word use these instead:

''On your knees then love''

#16
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QUOTE (techno-ninja @ Dec 29 2008, 09:06 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
''On your knees then love''



made the keeper wall.

Anyways, Head < Sex



#17
Mantrousse

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QUOTE (Dohregard @ Dec 29 2008, 03:04 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
--


That's my point bro; it's a much more admirable/caring thing to do than to say "fuck it"; muchos respect for your restraint - and i doubt you regret it.

#18
techno-ninja

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QUOTE (Dohregard @ Dec 29 2008, 03:12 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Anyways, Head < Sex



But if one isn't on offer then i'm pretty sure you wouldn't turn down the other.

#19
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QUOTE (Shadowstar @ Dec 29 2008, 12:43 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Dodged a bullet.


And lucky you did. With girls like that your in for nothing but a world of pain.

#20
shorty321gmail

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QUOTE (Silent_Dirge @ Dec 29 2008, 04:20 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I really don't like sharing RL drama here on the Internet. But I'd like to be vocal with this one. Massive QQ's here. Turn back now, you've been warned. I will put a brief summary at the bottom so those who don't have time on thier hands, or don't have patience, won't feel left out.

Well about 8 months ago everything was perfect. I had great friends, my sister was still homicidal and crazy but the violence really toned down as she had started "Disappearing" from home more frequently allowing for more peace and calm amongst my household. I worked bad hours. 1:50-10:20pm. I am a morning person so that was hell for me, But I became used to it. I had great co-workers. Chris, a friend of mine from high school, and Killoran, a Girl I met at work. We had a party of 3-5 people every night playing Mario Kart DS from the time we got off work, to about 3 or 4 in the morning. Killoran and I became very attached and flirty with each other right off the bat. Lo and behold I quickly found out she played video games. Score right? (For those wanting to know what she looks like, Imagine Melonqueen, but without the melons icon_wink.gif ). Quite literally the best of friends, and near inseparable. Well, we were inseparable at work, and have been told by many people that we were cute together, we should go out blah blab blah. Even random Customers in my bakery would walk up to me and say that. I never really saw her like that. We had a lot in common, yeah, and could joke around for hours. Yes. But you can't date someone at work without making shit all awkward. We shared a ton of the same interests and really did enjoy each others company. Eventually the Nagging got to me and I figured why not?

So I managed to collect my Balls of steel and ask her out. It has been 7 years since I lst dated a woman/Girl/Chick. I just find it really hard to find someone who isn't all ditsy and such. Not a lot of women interest me. My parents think I'm gay because its been so long since the last time I brought a girl into the house =/ I am more of the romantic type rather than....The other type?

So I am about to ask her out one night we are alone and such and it goes quiet for a moment, and when I'm about to make my move (figured I drop it out of the blue). I know for a fact that she didn't see it coming. Thats when she spoke first.

"okay you've been asking a lot why I've been so sad tonight"

"Yeah?"

"I guess I'll tell you"

"mmkay. Its not overly depressing is it?"

"Well when I was 17, I got married, to the love of my life, and close to 7 months later he shot himself. Pow right between the eyes. His name was Jason. This is something I'll never forget"

The rest of the night was silent but for the mashing of D pads amongst the waves crashing along the shore of the ocean.

I didn't see her for the next couple of days but we were all cheery and at it again the next time i saw her. D'awwwwww. But this has always loomed over me now every time I see her or hang out with her. And knowing that she hadn't told anyone else this and such. Such a deep dark thing.

We kept doing our thing Mario Kart and such, hanging out and making fun of other bakery's listening to music, chilling at work and all that for the next couple of months. Things started to slow down. By that I mean its getting colder, and my friends were getting lazier to hang out. Not Killoran though she was fine. I kept trying to arrange a time where we could meet up/talk. I finally managed to get a hold of her one on one and brought her to a park (Hurrrrr). We started talking and such about life goals and futures and such. I then Grabbed life by the balls, squeezed them until the titanium juices dribbled out, and let them dip onto my steel ones. I managed to ask her out. And, surprisingly my tongue was smooth. Very smooth. I was so surprised how intricate and sweet the words I spilled from my lips were. T'was awesome. She was totally impressed with that, until I mentioned the fact that she looked like her mother. Heh, Just a precaution to those who don't already know, DONT SAY THAT EVER! So we hung out, laughed giggled, talked some more, checked out some pictures on her iMac (ugh)and called her a cab and before she got in I said

"Hey I never got your answer"

"...I'll think about it"

She smiled back at me as she was driven off.

Total Balls.

So the next couple of weeks I see her at work a lot, we're doing fine and such but she starts to get a little more off every day. Weird. She didn't seem as happy as she used to be. So I kept nagging her we should hang out, whats going on? etc etc. We eventually do hang out. She tells me about how her father is kicking her out of her house, she can't afford rent ( 700 bucks 1 bedroom in Victoria, and its rare to find one that is vacant). And all the jobs suck in Victoria paying dick all at 9 bucks an hour =/ You need at least 14/hr to make it on your own. Then she tells me more depressing shit. We go to my old grade school and sit on the swings there. So many good and bad memories. About to make another. She tells me of her two previous miscarriages. Scared the fuck out of me. 21, been married, miscarried twice. oh and how she stabbed her brother and some other stuff. It was more depressing. This shit is all real.

Balls of steel again.

"So. Have you Decided on us yet?"

"Yeah I have"

"Frederic, you are such a Nice guy....."

*Fuck*

"I really hate relationships, I'm really bad and controlling don't like the dependancy Blah blah blah" (women icon_razz.gif)

"So.....?

"No."

We talked for a bit longer, called her a cab, and sent her on her way. Then she blew me a kiss as she drove off into the distance. I flipped the cab off when she was too far away to see. Stood there for a minute, Sighed, and then walked back home. At least it wasn't me right?

Well the past 4 months She has been avoiding me quite a while. No reason at all. I figured I just put her in an awkward spot, give her some space and all that. Some days she'd come to work and be really really depressed and didn't want to talk to anyone. And others she would be super happy. Weird. She wouldn't hang out or anything but kept on telling me "We would lets do it c'mon we gotta hang out"

The one time we managed to set shit up to hang out. I was stood up. Fun.

But, being the geek that I am, trusting and all that I let it slide.

The last 3 weeks of work she missed out on. just didn't show up. Everyone was pissed worried and confused about her. All her family and friends. pepole were surprised when I said I had no Idea what was going on. Figured I'd Just give her some space. Facebook status says she's "IN A RELATIONSHIP" (facebookan drama) with "SOME GUY" (he has a name, but I don't want to know). Tonight I found out she's pregnant.

21 and pregnant. Living off a 10$ hour wage. Not going to work. owes a couple of thousand in bills. and there is a list that stacks on and on but thats not the point. Shit happens right?






THE POINT IS:

If you are going to tell someone "no I don't do relationships" and be nice and all that and then turn around and go as nearly far as possible with one, make sure you tear that person out of your life! Or at least, tell them "hey, you're a fucktard for saying that And you aren't my type"

So much less pain.

;__;


/QQ


(This is also Dirge's longest, non-thread De-railing post EVAR. Make use of it)

10/10 would read again.


QUOTE (Syntra @ Apr 1 2009, 03:20 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'm gonna tell my friends I'm gay.




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