61 replies to this topic

[Jimmy Rabbitte]

I'm taking percoset for my wisdom teeth ATM. A side effect of it is constipation. So basically all of my shits for the past two weeks have been colossal and extremely hard to pass. The worst was earlier this week, I sat on the toilet for about 20 minutes and when I got up there was a chocolate iguana in there. I tried flushing it but it clogged the pipes. So I broke out the plunger and arbitrarily plunged the hole (I'm not really sure if there's a proper way to use it) eventually I got it and all the water rushed down really quickly, it was kinda cool.

[Dohregard]

lol chocolate Iguana.


I've had a real good streak of pleasant shits... probably from removing fried food out of my diet.

[Acoly]

Just had a magic shit where you don't need to wipe your ass and you cant see it in the toilet.

FUCK YEAH!!!11

[Mares]

Gonna take a shit in a couple of minutes, omg it will be soooo goood!!!! I FEEL IT ALREADY!

[Dohregard]

a orgasmic shit, eh...

[Mares]

just had the shit, in the beginning it was quiet pwnage but then at the end I needed to push 2 hard for little pieces...

[Acoly]

Just had a really really wet horrible shit, took me ages to wipe.

Feels bad man : '(

[Mares]

yep those sucks....

[Dohregard]

I think the worst are the ones that feel like your shitting a rock, and its all sharp and shit... damn those leave emotional scars, tbh

[тαg]

I think the worst are the ones that feel like your shitting a rock, and its all sharp and shit... damn those leave emotional scars, tbh

I`d say the really big ones that u squeeze for ages. but they never come, do they

[Mares]

They come tbh, and if they come ITS FUCKING ORGASMIC!

[GtuFest]

Just shit about 3 minutes ago. All momentum, no satisfactory results. It felt like it was going to be a trophy-shit, but I was fooled by a large fart. Usually I can tell the difference between a trophy-shit and large fart before I go, but this time was different, I was certain it was going to be glorious.

Smallest shit I've ever taken tbh.

But anyway - since this thread is about shit.. I guess I'll share one of my darkest secrets. Exactly two years ago, I took a shit so massive it clogged my toilet. I didn't know this right away, but later found out once I walked down my bedroom steps only to see my father ankle deep in water. My shit destroyed my toilet you see. I got the epic stare down, which meant "You did this, you, did this!" It got so bad that it started coming down through the kitchen ceiling. We had 30 pots and pans collecting the toilet water, all in a panic. Though every time I made eye contact with a fellow resident - it was the "You did this, you, did this!" stare.

So, the following summer my toilet began acting strange. It seemed to get backed up, a lot. It was unable to flush certain amounts of shit. I guess I broke it? I don't know. So that following summer, I became paranoid that I'd do it again. Over that summer I spent a lot of nights gaming and watching anime til the wee hours. What if I had to shit at say, 3 am? What if it was frankenshit again? These were things I couldn't gamble on - so I experimented. I did something so strange that I laugh every time I imagine myself in the act. I gathered maybe about 2 feet of paper towel, and a nice amount of T.P. Then I unlocked the backdoor and stepped outside. Behind the grill was my target - so I shit my ass outside, onto the paper towel. What did I do with this shit? I ran down my backyard and gave it a toss over the fence into the wooded area behind my house.

I quickly dubbed this act - Y.S. (yard shitting). I continued to do this because to be honest, it was fun as hell. It was different, and certainly an odd way for a human to shit - especially when he has a perfectly fine toilet 15 steps away. I continued to do this throughout the entire summer, and it became sort of a habit.

I stopped, I don't continue to do it. My shit size has decreased over the past year, and the summer that has recently passed was Y.S. free.

Everything I just said is 100% true.

[Dohregard]

I lol'd

[Mares]

I lol'd

me 2

[Dohregard]

So, this one is more about a fart than a shit.

have you ever had a fart that pained your asshole?

I mean, not like the wet flappy ones that make your ass smack together, those suck to, but I mean a fart with so much pressure that it comes to your asshole and your like "FUCKIN CHRIST WTF FART!?!?!?"

I had one of those today... it was the 2nd one I've had in my entire life.... those are note worthy....

[Dohregard]

bumped for the amazing shit I just had.

it kinda hurt, but in a good way...

[тαg]

I has not shat today.

[Zanzibar]

Fuck it, I might as well gross you all out.

All day I've been feeling a little under the weather, but earlier I farted and it was wet as fuck. I knew something was very wrong. So I get my arse to the throne and squeeze one out.

Liquid.

100% shit water, streams and streams of it. I was on there for a good twenty minutes and my ring is burning.

[тαg]

Fuck it, I might as well gross you all out.

All day I've been feeling a little under the weather, but earlier I farted and it was wet as fuck. I knew something was very wrong. So I get my arse to the throne and squeeze one out.

Liquid.

100% shit water, streams and streams of it. I was on there for a good twenty minutes and my ring is burning.

OW DUDE!
SIIICK

[Dohregard]

100% shit water, streams and streams of it. I was on there for a good twenty minutes and my ring is burning.

Vaseline = good for diarrhea asshole syndrome.