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Rather... interesting console reviews.

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37 replies to this topic

#1
Amethyst

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(I was hesitant to post this in the Game Reviews section, because I wouldn't actually call them reviews. Mods, please move at your discretion.)

So, I stumbled upon this interesting little gem of a website. My troll radar has been off for a while, so I'm not 100% sure if this is legit, but let's assume it is.

Now, the intention isn't to make fun/light of their beliefs, but only to point out that their reviews are... perhaps less than stellar. One ought to play games and review them on their content, yes? Not on screenshots and trailers?

Here's an example.

QUOTE
5.6.2008: (Note: I have not played this game since it is rated "M" and isn't allowed on the Fellowship U campus, so I am basing this mini-review on Secular media reports.) Grand Theft Auto IV is a game designed to brain-wash players into the Atheist worldview. In it you play Nick, an immigrant recently arrived to Liberty City (a copy of New York City) who is tasked with stealing cars and murdering prostitutes. Nick came from a former Communist country where he was brought up in Godlessness and so he sees no problem stealing and murdering. The game touts its ability to let you "go anywhere and do anything you want", the central philosophy of Atheism. It also teaches how to escape from police, instilling in the player the main motivation behind Atheism: avoidance of authority. The underlying game engine is called "RAGE", which is apt since the game is fueled by anger at God. It also uses something called "Euphoria" which treats humans as "rag dolls" who act only in accordance to physics, which is what Atheistic Materialism teaches. The game series (as the title notes, this is the fourth game) has already resulted in murders in real life. This game has no redeemable qualities. Needless to say, all Christians should avoid this game and pray for the people who made it and their victims (murder victims and gamers of all ages who have played it and have been spiritually scarred). ZERO CROSSES


And don't even get me started on the MGS4 review, either.

eta; There's no way this site can be legit. But it's still pretty damn funny, true or not.

#2
The Colonel

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Lol...Christian Gaming Xpert Kyle Goldman.
And like that, he was gone.

#3
confrico

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QUOTE (Amethyst @ Jul 2 2008, 01:23 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
So, I stumbled upon this interesting little gem of a website. My troll radar has been off for a while, so I'm not 100% sure if this is legit, but let's assume it is.

it's funnier that way tbh

#4
anatomy187

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Rofl, this is some kind of satire.

It says that the reviewer is studying to be a "Missiological Technician" at a university that doesn't exist.

...like what the fuck is that!?

#5
Tuffins

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I think it's safe to say these kinds of websites are fake. But then again, you see that anti-gay church and then anything's possible.

I'm Christian myself, and tbh it's hard to believe ANY --HUMAN-- would be that ignorant.

I'm 99% sure it's fake because just look at the poll on the side:


"Do you use cheat codes?"

- No, they are not Christian
- No, I like to solve a game on my own
- Only if I can't get past a level


and here comes the kicker

- Yes, but God knows I am a sinner and will forgive me.

OK, I think everybody in the world knows that using a cheatcode isn't a sin.



#6
Pwnage101

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silverrlybp6.png that guys you quoted sounds just like my friend Shell's brother mark..... over the top Christian (nothin against em just sayin) if god is not mentioned it is complete and utter Soul killing "your going to hell" sorta thing.

#7
The Colonel

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If this is a satire, it is VERY well done. Here is the mother site of that site icon_razz.gif
And like that, he was gone.

#8
anatomy187

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QUOTE (The Colonel @ Jul 2 2008, 03:25 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
If this is a satire, it is VERY well done. Here is the mother site of that site icon_razz.gif

I'm pretty sure everyone and their mum has seen the objective ministries site and hopefully they realize that it's fake...and would you like to humor me and try to explain what a Missiological Technician is?

#9
The Colonel

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I have NEVER seen that in my life. Also, Missiological Technician is a term for some of those involved with "mission science" spreading the word of God, etc. Look up Missiology.
And like that, he was gone.

#10
anatomy187

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You've never seen that stupid cartoon with Lambuel or whatever the fuck his name is...? And the creation science Giraffe professor who talks about how Satan buries the dinosaur bones? You are one of the lucky ones then.

Anyway I've heard of Missiology, but I've never heard of anyone relating to Missiology being called a Technician, and can't find any kind of relation after 30 minutes of searching in intranets. And Fellowship University doesn't exist...so, yeah, that's about it.

#11
Twizzler Mark 4

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that MGS review is so retarded D:
QUOTE
(Snake's main enemy in the game are the Patriots, who represent the Christian founders of our nation)

Are you shitting me?



... wow
Ever wonder why you click something?Is it because your curious or bored.

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#12
jefftheworld

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"U save ur game b4 u die... shouldn't u let Jesus save ur soul b4 u die IRL?"

Best quote ever!

#13
serial_

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QUOTE (Twizzler Mark 4 @ Jul 2 2008, 04:48 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
that MGS review is so retarded D:

Are you shitting me?



... wow



Christian evangelicals are so damned mental.
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#14
Andrack

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Umm... the website isn't working... Damn. :/

EDIT: Nevermind, reading epic troll now.

#15
Andrack

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The mgs4 review was awesome and it seems like Jesus would play on the PS3. icon_smile.gif

Also, I actually liked this quote, even though its dumb and lame, "U save ur game b4 u die... shouldn't u let Jesus save ur soul b4 u die IRL?"

#16
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QUOTE
As his name implies, Snake is actually a symbolic agent of Satan, sent into the world to finish what he started in the Garden. Evidence of this symbolism can be seen by Snake's use of an Apple iPod throughout the game (Apple is a notorious promoter of Darwinism and counter-culture). Also, Meryl, who guides Snake via a disembodied voice, uses an Apple Macintosh computer (I think Meryl is supposed to represent Satan himself, but all the symbolism is very confusing since it was written by a Japanese guy)


WIN!

#17
Tuffins

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QUOTE (serial_ @ Jul 2 2008, 04:39 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Christian evangelicals are so damned mental.

Yeah, don't go around making stupid statements like that.

Obviously not all evangelical Christians are mental. If that site is serious at all.

Gamers ask not to be stereotyped as violent idiots so do the same for others.

#18
confrico

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QUOTE (Tuffins @ Jul 2 2008, 06:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Yeah, don't go around making stupid statements like that.

Obviously not all evangelical Christians are mental. If that site is serious at all.

Gamers ask not to be stereotyped as violent idiots so do the same for others.

i think he meant to say "christians are so damn METAL" \m/

#19
anatomy187

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#20
confrico

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heh




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