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#21
way2lazy2care

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QUOTE (DarkKitchen @ Jan 3 2008, 10:40 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
does length make it better
its just more to read
what else could I put here
or is it just me

My favorite one by me

quoted for epic ironiez in this thread.

no offense to any of you people, but some of your poems are WICKED long.
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QUOTE (Virus52 @ Mar 3 2008, 09:44 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
ALL HAIL THE GREAT AND MIGHTY MOTH!

QUOTE (SN3S @ May 6 2008, 08:27 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
No sensuality; this is all for fitness.

#22
Verrückter

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QUOTE (way2lazy2care @ Feb 11 2008, 03:19 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
quoted for epic ironiez in this thread.

no offense to any of you people, but some of your poems are WICKED long.


So what, you have ADD?
"Something tremendously powerful was lost when composers moved away from tonal harmony and regular pulses... Among other things the audience was lost" -John Adams

#23
way2lazy2care

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QUOTE (Verrückter @ Feb 11 2008, 06:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
So what, you have ADD?

maybe... and maybe I'm sensitive about it >:| lol

it was just an observation :-p
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QUOTE (Virus52 @ Mar 3 2008, 09:44 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
ALL HAIL THE GREAT AND MIGHTY MOTH!

QUOTE (SN3S @ May 6 2008, 08:27 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
No sensuality; this is all for fitness.

#24
Immortal Technique

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I'm a weapon that fires
Lyrical projectiles with no mercy
I'm cold blooded like reptiles
Touch a pregnant bitch and make her give birth to a dead child
Every time I flex styles
n00bs vacate the premises and become exiles
I manufacture rhymes like textiles of x-files
And lighten juveniles
Living life with no purpose
Organize a army that will make the devil's nervous
Competition is worthless
Like the electoral vote
If you provoke I'll break your motherfucking neck in a yoke
Your better off throwing your shitty life away sniffing coke
Technique will choke you into a spiritual state
And it will take a lake of hydrochloric acid to soften this
I'll fake your parents suicide and kill you in the orphanage
But I inspire ideological metamorphosis
Stop talking shit or I'll make your existence a memory
So you can have me frozen cryogenically for centuries
But I'll break the ice if anyone on the planet mentions me
I'll burn a hypocritical flag intentionally
Explosive revolutionary
Chemistry's my destiny

#25
keitherton

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Okay here's some of my raps, none of them are completed yet, but I have quite a few, I'll post them all, tell me what you think.

Here's one I made for my girlfriend, sort of on the mushy side of rap...

Baby I jus wanna see U smile,
love spendin time, even if it jus a lil while,
no other thoughtz in my head, u runnin my mind like a mile,
sence tha day that we met there waz no denial,
it's love baby
so i got this question maybe, if u could be my lady,
an take this crown, you could be my queen, we could be anything
baby i feel like u savin me, from feelen down, cuz even a frown,
will never be seen, to me you are a blessing,
an baby to my heart u mean everythin,
You see, i see sumthin special when i look in your eyes,
baby i treasure ur love more than any other prize,
more than the green on the ground an the rainbows in the skies,
kissn ur lips i think i found the way to live my life,
its gotta be wit u baby, ur my sun, u keep everythin from goin shady,
bein wit u is like a dream come true,
best believe wat im sayen cuz it all strait truth,
my momz got cheated on an my daddy left too,
i kno the rights an wrongs an things id never put u thru
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Here's one I made called Tha Realest, I was just trying to be funny, it was a girls idea, but it's not completed ether.

im tha realezt writer out there, all my lines never tell a lie,
im sumn like MIMS cept im hollerin this is why im fly, this-this is why im fly,
im fly cuz i write gold when i barely even try, so lets kick back learn a lil more about my life,
grew up in the dtown, on the darkside, wasnt bad til i hit the weed shit got my brain fried,
now im huntn every artist down, if u wanna kno where u can find, me,
ill be next to the pound, of the chronic, smokin an writen til my brains rotted,
im like a walkin narcotic, u can call me a beast, actually change that frum beast,
u can call me the best.
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Here's one I made about female's this one's real talk, also not completed.

i think i figured out why they call it game, cuz understandin a gurl is truly tha hardest thang,
to do, cuz when i look at u i see pretty an cute, but on tha inside it manipulative an cruel,
an i aint sayen all u ladies out there tha same, but to stick wit sum gurls u gona need sum restrain,
seems all these relationships are causin is pain, but at the same time its wat errbody wan claim,
so could sum1 please try and explain, why these girls are all swimin my brain,
an sum of em make me feel like its gonna rain, right down on me but still i stick wit em like cane,
an by cane i mean coke,
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

And here's one I made for my best friend

we ogs to the end, an i can say fo sho that bud u are my bes friend,
even grew up togetha, we gonna smoke all the sticky in the world togetha,
an i promise u dog that i will never letta, person talk u down,
an if they do, u kno there wont be a trace, theyll be 6 ft underground,
an thats my word,
an if ur ever in trouble g u kno where ill be found,
right by ur side, ready to fight, an ready to die, cuz i love u man, this shit is 4 lyfe,
an u kno even if we aint seem tight, if there waz no 4 lyfe, shit jus wouldn be right,
so grab those papers an get sum green an get rdy to light, cuz bro u knoes we alwayz be blazin all nite,
i guess its time for you to hate me again, lets begin, now hand me the pen.. how should i begin it and where should it all end

#26
Immortal Technique

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These days everybody gots to be a thug or a playa. I KNOW this motherfucker aint scared to kick reality. ^

PEACE.

#27
Verrückter

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QUOTE (keitherton @ Feb 11 2008, 09:25 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
huge post


Not going to read it until you use proper english.
"Something tremendously powerful was lost when composers moved away from tonal harmony and regular pulses... Among other things the audience was lost" -John Adams

#28
Immortal Technique

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QUOTE (Verrückter @ Feb 11 2008, 10:27 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Not going to read it until you use proper english.

It's called colloqual English/onomatopoeia and is perfectly acceptable in academic circles. Y'all don't know shit. BLAH!

#29
keitherton

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QUOTE (Verrückter @ Feb 11 2008, 11:27 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Not going to read it until you use proper english.


whats ur problem man im sure u can read it whether its proper english or not, i can write proper i choose not too, it shouldnt be that much of a problem..im not going back and fixing my whole post and raps just so the great verruckter ca read it, you dont have to, your loss
i guess its time for you to hate me again, lets begin, now hand me the pen.. how should i begin it and where should it all end

#30
Immortal Technique

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Y'all heard it here first, like the screams of immaculate child birth.

#31
MCClammer

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QUOTE (Verrückter @ Feb 11 2008, 09:27 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Not going to read it until you use proper english.

Grammar is just a tool used by elitists to separate them from the proletariat. There usually is no emphasis on grammar in poetry because that is the beauty of it. The point of a language is to communicate, you can understand that perfectly fine. If you can't, then all the emphasis you have put on grammar has been pointless because that means it has crippled your ability to communicate with normal people.
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#32
Immortal Technique

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QUOTE (MCClammer @ Feb 11 2008, 10:54 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Grammar is just a tool used by elitists to separate them from the proletariat. There usually is no emphasis on grammar in poetry because that is the beauty of it. The point of a language is to communicate, you can understand that perfectly fine. If you can't, then all the emphasis you have put on grammar has been pointless because that means it has crippled your ability to communicate with normal people.

Q to tha F to tha mothafuckin TEEEEE

#33
keitherton

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QUOTE (MCClammer @ Feb 11 2008, 11:54 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Grammar is just a tool used by elitists to separate them from the proletariat. There usually is no emphasis on grammar in poetry because that is the beauty of it. The point of a language is to communicate, you can understand that perfectly fine. If you can't, then all the emphasis you have put on grammar has been pointless because that means it has crippled your ability to communicate with normal people.

QUOTE (Immortal Technique @ Feb 12 2008, 12:03 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Q to tha F to tha mothafuckin TEEEEE


qft lol u guys got it rite
i guess its time for you to hate me again, lets begin, now hand me the pen.. how should i begin it and where should it all end

#34
Pawnator

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QUOTE (MCClammer @ Feb 11 2008, 07:54 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Grammar is just a tool used by elitists to separate them from the proletariat. There usually is no emphasis on grammar in poetry because that is the beauty of it. The point of a language is to communicate, you can understand that perfectly fine. If you can't, then all the emphasis you have put on grammar has been pointless because that means it has crippled your ability to communicate with normal people.

I don't think it was the grammar that bothered him.


#35
way2lazy2care

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QUOTE (MCClammer @ Feb 11 2008, 11:54 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Grammar is just a tool used by elitists to separate them from the proletariat. There usually is no emphasis on grammar in poetry because that is the beauty of it. The point of a language is to communicate, you can understand that perfectly fine. If you can't, then all the emphasis you have put on grammar has been pointless because that means it has crippled your ability to communicate with normal people.

I'm pretty sure it was more in reference that half his words are not spelt correctly or not words at all. Grammar is easy to work around "im tha realezt..
im sumn like MIMS cept im hollerin...grew up in the dtown.. im huntn every artist down.. change that frum beast" is not.

QUOTE
It's called colloqual English/onomatopoeia and is perfectly acceptable in academic circles. Y'all don't know shit. BLAH!

no... it's called being stupid. Changing the spelling of existing words is not an onomatopoeia or a cologuialism. It's just wrong unless it serves an artistic purpose (which those do not)

Also, FUCKING LOL AT THAT RAP. I remember pwnator I think making a post about how if you're a good rapper you should make a good rap instead of a rap about how good you are. It's just... so true...
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QUOTE (Virus52 @ Mar 3 2008, 09:44 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
ALL HAIL THE GREAT AND MIGHTY MOTH!

QUOTE (SN3S @ May 6 2008, 08:27 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
No sensuality; this is all for fitness.

#36
keitherton

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QUOTE (way2lazy2care @ Feb 12 2008, 02:41 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'm pretty sure it was more in reference that half his words are not spelt correctly or not words at all. Grammar is easy to work around "im tha realezt..
im sumn like MIMS cept im hollerin...grew up in the dtown.. im huntn every artist down.. change that frum beast" is not.
no... it's called being stupid. Changing the spelling of existing words is not an onomatopoeia or a cologuialism. It's just wrong unless it serves an artistic purpose (which those do not)
Also, FUCKING LOL AT THAT RAP. I remember pwnator I think making a post about how if you're a good rapper you should make a good rap instead of a rap about how good you are. It's just... so true...


First of all, I type like that because that is how I type. It doesn't make me stupid, it's just where I'm from and the kind of people I hang out with. I can type the English language just as good as everybody on these forums, if not better than some.

I said that rap about me being good was a joke. I don't actually think I'm the greatest writer out there I was just messing around writing.

People change the spelling of existing words everyday, who cares how I spell or how I write, I wasn't posting my raps on here for a grammar, and spelling lesson. I was posting them on here to show my rap.

Obviously I can't share rap with you people on these forums, because it's like one of you guys going up to a hood n00b and asking him what he thinks of your new backstreet boys cd.

Also when I say hood n00b I don't mean any racial offence whatsoever, I'm just trying to get a point across.
i guess its time for you to hate me again, lets begin, now hand me the pen.. how should i begin it and where should it all end

#37
Verrückter

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QUOTE (Immortal Technique @ Feb 11 2008, 10:35 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It's called colloqual English/onomatopoeia and is perfectly acceptable in academic circles. Y'all don't know shit. BLAH!


Most definitely not.

QUOTE (keitherton @ Feb 12 2008, 03:54 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
First of all, I type like that because that is how I type. It doesn't make me stupid, it's just where I'm from and the kind of people I hang out with. I can type the English language just as good as everybody on these forums, if not better than some.

I said that rap about me being good was a joke. I don't actually think I'm the greatest writer out there I was just messing around writing.

People change the spelling of existing words everyday, who cares how I spell or how I write, I wasn't posting my raps on here for a grammar, and spelling lesson. I was posting them on here to show my rap.

Obviously I can't share rap with you people on these forums, because it's like one of you guys going up to a hood n00b and asking him what he thinks of your new backstreet boys cd.

Also when I say hood n00b I don't mean any racial offence whatsoever, I'm just trying to get a point across.


I don't have anything against rap at all, but the horrible grammar removes all of it's credibility. How can you expect someone to take you seriously if you don't even make the effort to write correctly? If you were to present any form of project to anyone form a non-pupular organisation, it would be rejected.

Grammar has nothing to do with proletarism vs. higher classes or any of this bullshit. It's the least of things, when you present a peice of work, that the grammar be at least good.

Seriously, I have no clue where you were raised and quite frankly I don't give a damned, but it doesn't justify botching grammar and removing comprehension, structure and flow all at the same time. Your peice would be much more interesting and fun to read if it didn't have this monstrous problem.
"Something tremendously powerful was lost when composers moved away from tonal harmony and regular pulses... Among other things the audience was lost" -John Adams

#38
MaxDamage

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nuff fighting
get writing

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#39
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QUOTE (MCClammer @ Feb 11 2008, 07:54 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Grammar is just a tool used by elitists to separate them from the proletariat.

And Engrish is a tool used by engrishers to separate them from the proliterate.

QUOTE (keitherton @ Feb 12 2008, 12:54 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
First of all, I type like that because that is how I type. It doesn't make me stupid, it's just where I'm from and the kind of people I hang out with.


THAT'S HOW I TALK! AIN'T YOU NEVA SEEN MAH MOVIES?!

Grammar is gud even in thuh hud becuz u no it hawt like fire burnin on the pire auf the cripp syar end rimang aeze fawn bot aet doient satawp the engolishgrish frawm spredenguh.


#40
moor w rot

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I like the fact you can use poetry to describe thing interesting ways. this is how I describe a polalitoin:

put a bullet in their head
because they are a wanka doodle wat wat
they have nothing much to say
with their droll dripping down
kissing the ground

i know it a bit blunt but it the way i want so people get where im coming from and how they pisses me of it still need some work on it.




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