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feminists are bad fighters

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50 replies to this topic

#1
Jeremy S

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QUOTE
So last night I was at this HORRIBLY boring party with a bunch of people who were either stoners or shroomers. Everyone was sober, but these people were the most pretentious and stiflingly smug motherfuckers I've ever met in my life.

Anyway, someone got on the subject of fighting, something about one of them doing wrestling or whatever, and the hostess, a good friend of mine, said, "Oh yeah, Chris does a lot of fighting stuff."

I tried my best not to barge into their conversation of eye-gouges, biting, false anatomical physics and the such. But they asked my opinion. One of the girls there is the kind of radical feminist who believes in feng shui, chi, etc. Despite being a white girl who retroactively is trying to get daddy to love her. I've known this girl since elementary school and we've always butted heads. Anyway, she's had a few "self-defense" lessons. She made some comment about how if some guy grabs your arms, instead of resisting, to push your arm towards him and at some point escape (she never really made this clear) and using the heel of the palm, make his brain explode somehow. I interjected that if anybody really wanted to take you somewhere, they wouldn't be in striking range, but rather in clinching/grappling range. She then, with great smug "I AM SO RIGHT BECAUSE I AM A WOMAN HEAR ME ROAR! GRAARRR!" attitude, said, "I'm pretty sure I can escape from you, because what you do is for sport."

I raised a gentle eyebrow and said, "I'd test your theories, but well... you're a girl."

Later that evening while in the backyard on the lawn, we were sitting down she must've been horribly offended by me calling her a girl, but she brought it up again and I said, "Well alright then, I'll test out your theories."

So I walked over to her and placed myself in her guard. She attempted to kick me off, but moving to halfguard, I was able to hold her down. While she struggled I jumped to mount and just sat on her while she futilely tried to gouge my eyes. Unfortunately, my optical organs are out of her reach. With her arms up that high, I throw my leg around and gogoplata her from mount. Not completely choking her, but just with my leg on her chest/throat so she'd stop trying to sit up. All the while yelling, "THIS IS SPARTAAAA!!!!" (because she hated 300).

She then tried to rip my scrotum off (Another one of those gems RBSD people teach I guess) somehow through my jeans but I just ended up getting blue balls from the half-assed handjob she was trying to give me. I swatted her arms away and throwing both arms up in the air yelled, "I AM KAMANDI! I ART THE LAST BOY! I ART THE LAST BOY!"

She was furious. She then tried to BITE MY SHIN at that point. Again, through my jeans. After a few minutes I got off of her (pun intended) and said, "You should get a refund."

To which she replied, "Well, you didn't actually rape me."

And I replied with, "I still could if you want."

Cliffs: I attempt rape but end up shouting out geeky expletives and prove to an overzealous feminazi that I am way cooler than her bullshit self-defense classes with my sport skills and I get a half hand-job.


http://www.bullshido.net/forums/showthread.php?t=58347

icon_biggrin.gif
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#2
Silver Tongued Devil

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k

#3
destroyer56

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Pwnt? lol
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#4
Pawnator

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Not Bel-Air? I'm dissappointed.

Anyway, that's what you get if you have no grappling skills, and no striking skills, either, apparently.


#5
Toadie

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lmao that was great

#6
Jeremy S

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feminists = funnay
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#7
HypnoticMoose

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the "this is sparta" was amazing.
"If there were no laws, there would be a one-hundred percent drop in the crime rate"
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#8
AT Jive

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Didn't find that funny one bit. Thought the whole story was pretty much stupid. It is probably one of those things you need to witness in real life to find humorous.

#9
Jeremy S

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QUOTE (AT Jive @ Aug 7 2007, 04:15 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Didn't find that funny one bit. Thought the whole story was pretty much stupid. It is probably one of those things you need to witness in real life to find humorous.

-.- dont rain on my parade........ it took my 3 months to book this time slot and my marching band is ready
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#10
melonqueen

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Wow I really couldn't find that story funny for a couple of reasons.
1. I hate it when people are all elitist and like "Lol what you do is shit cos u don't learn anything and I know better" like this guy obviously was towards the girls self defence lessons.
2. A girl is a feminist because she does feng shui and takes self defence? Wow... I never realised learning how to defend yourself was a feminist idea. Same with feng shui... I thought that originated in the Orient, not the feminist movement?
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#11
Pawnator

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QUOTE (melonqueen @ Aug 7 2007, 01:22 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Wow I really couldn't find that story funny for a couple of reasons.
1. I hate it when people are all elitist and like "Lol what you do is shit cos u don't learn anything and I know better" like this guy obviously was towards the girls self defence lessons.


She started it, as was pointed out in the story. I thought the story was hilarious.


#12
Jeremy S

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lol before anyone else says "not funny" i would just like to take this time to say that i THOUGHT it was funny thus entailing that it is an OPINION and i thought some people here would enjoy said FUNNY THOUGHT/OPINION. I have gotten one "lmao" and thats all i need.


also i didnt write this story
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#13
HypnoticMoose

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QUOTE (melonqueen @ Aug 7 2007, 04:22 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
2. A girl is a feminist because she does feng shui and takes self defence? Wow... I never realised learning how to defend yourself was a feminist idea. Same with feng shui... I thought that originated in the Orient, not the feminist movement?


he said it's a feminist that believes in silly things, not a person that's a feminist because she believes in silly things.
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#14
melonqueen

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QUOTE (Pawnator @ Aug 8 2007, 06:24 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
She started it, as was pointed out in the story. I thought the story was hilarious.


From what I gathered she was pointing out he does fighting as a sport and therefore was a different style to what she learnt because how many attackers would break out the big fighting moves?

QUOTE (Jeremy S @ Aug 8 2007, 06:26 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
lol before anyone else says "not funny" i would just like to take this time to say that i THOUGHT it was funny thus entailing that it is an OPINION and i thought some people here would enjoy said FUNNY THOUGHT/OPINION. I have gotten one "lmao" and thats all i need.
also i didnt write this story


Yeah I know you didn't write the story... And I wasn't bringing down you by saying you're wrong for thinking it's funny. You're allowed to think that. But people who don't find it funny are also allowed to have an opinion and say so.
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#15
Jeremy S

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QUOTE (melonqueen @ Aug 7 2007, 04:30 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
From what I gathered she was pointing out he does fighting as a sport and therefore was a different style to what she learnt because how many attackers would break out the big fighting moves?
Yeah I know you didn't write the story... And I wasn't bringing down you by saying you're wrong for thinking it's funny. You're allowed to think that. But people who don't find it funny are also allowed to have an opinion and say so.

well you would sort of have to be a little bit closer into the fighting community to know that when someone calls your style a "sport" they are saying it is not effective and will nto work in "t3h_str337". It is really common in people who think they can do things like poke a finger into a pressure point and kill you in an instant or think they're ninjas. its just sort of an insult that gets irritating. And for the record there really arent any "big moves" icon_razz.gif to bust out.

also i know you werent ragging on me, but i felt someone would soon
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#16
AT Jive

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I hate people like the girl in that story. They take a few self defense courses and think they can take on anyone.

#17
Jeremy S

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QUOTE (AT Jive @ Aug 7 2007, 04:37 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I hate people like the girl in that story. They take a few self defense courses and think they can take on anyone.


this is another quote from the thread that in SOME cases is true, but it really just has to do with the false hope that the instructor will instill on his "students". The classes are normally advertised as "Learn to defend yourself against ANy attack in 10 weeks or less!!!"

all you can do when you see those ads is either go to the class and kick the instructors ass in front of his students or just not icon_razz.gif

QUOTE
Sad truth is lots of women rather do ten lesson course or take a seminar, meet new girl friends they can shop with, and feel safe.
*puts both hands on chest* because thats just how they feel.

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#18
A.Phobos

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ROFLMAO!!11

seriously, i guess some noobs may think they are pro until they get pwnt by some pro.

#19
Mkoll

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QUOTE (melonqueen @ Aug 8 2007, 06:22 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
2. A girl is a feminist because she does feng shui and takes self defence? Wow... I never realised learning how to defend yourself was a feminist idea. Same with feng shui... I thought that originated in the Orient, not the feminist movement?

She was a feminist that also believes in that shit. Not a feminist because she believes in that shit. l2read lolol

I hate hardcore feminists, as well as hardcore machoists. In fact, I dislike any feminist or machoist. (Machoist is the opposite of a feminist) All the feminists do is preach prejudice hate. They're all "MEN ARE EVIL, ALL OF THEM" when there are plenty of top blokes, nice guys that wouldn't hurt a fly, etc. They completely rule out the entire opposite sex, just because they where born that way. It's just the same as racism, only they're exluding ~49.5% of the entire population. Visa versa for machoists.

I mean, the feminist thing was fair enough when women where all treated like dirt, given no rights, etc. But not when it's almost completely even, it's just spiteful.
Give up all you suckers we the tightest muthafuckas And you never seen us talking shit before now

You peelin' potatoes while we sonic alligators
Makin' records sellin' like we smokin' crack now

'Joe' -'what now'?
'We bad.' -'Bad how'?
'We make a track to shake a cow
and move you like you startin something nasty?

'And then' -What then?
'We do it again, don?t make no money for us to spend
on yachts and boats and planes and drugs and scooters?

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#20
Toadie

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QUOTE (Mkoll @ Aug 7 2007, 05:48 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I mean, the feminist thing was fair enough when women where all treated like dirt, given no rights, etc. But not when it's almost completely even, it's just spiteful.

QFT




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