29 replies to this topic

[Cure]

I'm quite suprised to not find a thread like this, I did do a search and the only one I could find was Hades (snaglepuss) old one and it got locked long time ago.

So time to start fresh and that means im first.... (warning: you will either be like omg or ROFL'n at this story)

August last year when I was 18 I went to a works thing got drunk then I got home early and fell asleep. My friends wake me up about 10 and tell me that we're going to some girls house. When we get there its a girl with a baby and her best friend, so anyway we go in and I should mention that im still quite drunk at this point. I walk into the living room behind my friends, they sit down in the two chairs leaving me with the couch and the girls friend (and she was not nice) to sit next to, so I sit down to realise I've just sat on the girls baby (like 3 months old). The baby starts crying the girl and her friend pick the baby up and take it out of the room, which leaves my two mates who are just staring at me and the expression on their face from holding in the laughter.

Yes I know, I need to be shot



Now everyone else...

[Weiman]

Hmm, kinda odd to put the baby on the couch when you've got visitors coming over If I was the father I would've kicked you out though

Sounds weird but, never been drunk.

[keitherton]

haha, very smooth..lol

can they be high stories too?

Hmm, kinda odd to put the baby on the couch when you've got visitors coming over If I was the father I would've kicked you out though
Sounds weird but, never been drunk.

have you smoked ganja before?

[Tubby]

Ok, I imagine by

so I sit down to realise I've just said on the girls baby

you mean 'sat on'?

Hmmm, drunken story?

OK.
Before I moved to Albury, I came up here for an end of year party back in 04.

Party kicked off around midday, in summary - before 7pm that night. I shotted a bottle of Absinthe, drank a bottle of beam and polished off a slab of beer. Fell into a kiddie pool we had setup on the driveway, stumbled out - jumped back in and proceeded to kick the guy who was already in there multiple times because he splashed me. Jumped out, faceplanted the drive (breaking my first pair of Aviators), stumbled down the stairs on my driveway - falling forward and putting a hole in the front of the house (made from asbestos) with my head. Stumbled inside, pointed at two random chicks and said I knew them from high school, fell over head/shoulder first into the heater and put a massive dent into it. Stumbled into the shower, had a shower, threw up in the shower. Got dressed, stumbled out to the driveway, passed out on said driveway. Was woken up by the scream of "STACKS ON TUBBY!" - woke up and started randomly punching the guy on top of me (Same guy who I was kicking in the pool earlier), everyone hopped off me, was taken inside where I crawled up into a ball and fell asleep in my good friend leighton's lap whilst watching the OC with my foot in the celebration cake...
Two hours later - we all went out clubbing and I spent a further $200 on booze for myself at the clubs and shouted the boys $100-120 worth of shots.
Phone rang 1pm the next day, woke up still drunk as hell - manager needed me back in Shepparton because she lost her key to the safe. I drove 2hrs from Albury to Shepparton whilst in a still partial drunk manner to the point where I was fine if I remained still, but turning my head caused a massive headspin.

best, night, ever.

[Silver]

got very pissed at a mates birthday, i was wearing a full tux. 3 hours after the party i arrived at my mates house with a bikini on over my suit, half of someones garden fence, 3 for sale signs and the wheel of a BBQ.

So i get into his house, raid his cupboards and somehow cobble together a cheese toastie using a george foreman. He comes downstairs, i take 1 bite of this toastie and then pass out in his kitchen with it stuck to my shoulder.

The next morning was fun, i somehow woke up looking like rod stewart.

[Tree_]

My worst drunk story involves alot of piss, alot of marijuana and alot of waking up sleeping on hurl...I dont remember the exact detail's though, but im sure it was bad, .

[okih-imus]

Hmm, kinda odd to put the baby on the couch when you've got visitors coming over If I was the father I would've kicked you out though

zomg! you shouldn't put a 3 month baby on the couch anyways, they could roll right off onto the floor! Unless your right next to 'em.

[melonqueen]

Absolute worst drunk story... I was at a family friends 21st in 2005, which had free beer, wine and champagne all night. I hit the champagne pretty damn hard... I remember trying to dirty dance and crack on to the birthday girls brother (even though I had a boyfriend at the time... my reasoning was that they had the same first name)... I kept yelling out during speeches... The worst part though was this was actually on a boat in the Yarra river. I went up the top of the boat for a smoke, and then I don't remember a single thing until I was home. I completely blacked out. No fucking clue what happened. Apparently I threw up all over the top deck of the boat... I remember sitting on the floor of the shower when mum got me home and peeling dried vomit off my arms and chest... Good times eh?

[Dohregard]

I went to a "friends" friends party (they were all douches) and got so hammered I puked in the toilet, then accidentally knocked it over, than when they set it back up and shit (wasn't working) i puked in it again. when i regained conciousness i got in my car and left. (and had some dry heaves on the way back to my place)


chea, nothing beats fucking up peoples places that you don't like. especially when you get free booze out of it AND they don't even know were i live (they live 30 minutes from me)


....good times..... but the only down side i guess is that i can't even LOOK at hard alcohol anymore (mainly Vodka and Everclear)

almost forgot my tally (its a doosey)

5 Beers
3 shots of vodka
2 mikes hard lemonades
1 20oz screwdriver (50/50 w/ vodka)
1 10oz screwdriver (50/50 w/ everclear)

[RikthePox]

Not really a bad story but it was a fucking awesome night nonetheless, best night out I've had so far in my life.

Here goes:

Went to Prague to see my dad and my baby brother back in December '06.. basically the economy out there is run on alcohol and tobacco so it's something ridiculous like 50 pence (when converted into British currency) a pint.
Basically, last night in town and went out with my family to the pub to just have a meal and drink a few beers.. yknow just the standard family procedure.. well me and my uncle (he's only 22) ended up drinking 9 pints in that pub and 3 doubles of this 'medicinial' (wtf) drink called Beckerovka (even my fucking nan downed 3 of these.. I was amazed at it). Yeah, well, basically my whole family got trashed at the pub, and we left around 9ish (we only went there at about 6-7) after saying goodbye to my dad and his girlfriend. Got close to the hotel we were staying it and (I was expecting it anyway) just hear my uncle say 'right, let's go'. Nan says 'yeah don't be back too late don't get too hammered blablabla' all that shit that she knew we wouldn't pay the slightest bit of attention to, and we certainly didn't.
Hit the first bar at 9:30.. after being harassed by some random black geezer to come into a strip joint (festering with STD's no doubt).. he actually grabbed me on the shoulder and said 'no.. you come in now!'.. I just fucking laughed at him and went to the bar about 20 yards down the road. Got in and it wasn't too busy, it was like some kind of nightclub/bar hybrid that had a load of trance music playing in the background.. anyway, met some Belgians and ordered another round in (I was totally wankered by this time anyway).. same again.. same again.. smoke about 20 ciggies in 10 minutes.. another round etc etc. Told my uncle and the Belgians I was just going to the toilet.. anyway, on my way there I spot some Koreans and in my drunken state I automatically assume 'STARCRAFT FANS!'. Rush over to find out they do not speak a single word of English, but nevertheless recite words such as 'Starcraft' and 'Warcraft' to them, which they understood and approved of (actually, they didn't approve of Warcraft but they loved the SC reference). Anyway, have a couple of glasses of their whiskey and just sit their chatting absolute bollocks to them (I'm assuming) for about 10 minutes until the others come round the corner and tell me we're going to another bar. Whatever, I just follow along (but not before the main SC fan can give me a bit of paper with his MSN contact details on it... hahahaha).
Second bar - Don't have a fucking clue what the time is. Stumble in and hit the toilet and buy a pack of ciggies right away, only to come out of the toilets and find 3 good looking young Czech girls sitting around a table. Considering I am at least 6 years younger than them, probably the worst attempt at trying to chat up some girls ever (also considering they didn't speak a fucking word of English either).. so I sat there for a bit and talked bollocks yadayadayada same story but I see my uncle and the Belgian dudes sitting around a table with about 6-7 other people. People, I think; jackpot. Stumble my way over and start drinking the pint that's been ordered for me.. yeahyeah get talking with some guy that's telling me about how he left the mother of his child and whatever.. hahaha so funny now I think back. Anyway, get up on the dancefloor (attempting to go buy another pack of ciggies or go to the toilet.. I must have been trying to go somewhere) but some 35+ year old woman (dressed like a complete hooker) starts dancing with me.. I was too drunk to even move in any kind of rythym and she just fucked off after multiple attempts to try and get me dancing. Yeah well, go get another pack of fags or whatever I was going to do and come back only to see my uncle ordering a round of double absinthe's. Fucking excellent. I had been looking forward to that since I came to Prague. Anyways.. do the absinthe (absolutely fucking annihilated me) then we just randomly leave the club (I have no real recollection of saying bye to anyone, even though the Belgians were fucking awesome dudes).. anyway, get outside and, we must have taken a wrong turning or something because we end up jogging around Prague for an hour (maybe more?) trying to find out hotel (only to run into a hooker that jacks a load of cash out my pocket and my uncle's phone out of his. Fucking whore). Jogging across the road and I just projectile hurl into the air.. that was unexpected.. get halfway down the street and it happens again.. sit down and get something to eat from a stand (it's about 4am and they are open..).. hurl again. Well.. FINALLY get back at about 5am and just crash out in the corridor because I forgot the key to our room. Fucking awesome night, what I can remember of it.

Yeah I know that's one long motherfucking story, but I just love retelling it.. it is by far the best night I have ever had out and I plan on doing it again with some friends.. just thinking about it now brings a tear to my eye :').


Oh I think my total amount drunk was something like:
15 pints
3 doubles of beckerovka
1 double of absinthe (satan in liquid form)


Oh yeah, and ever since then, my liver has been weakened considerabely.. I pulled a cardinal sin on my liver that night and it has never forgiven me for it.. ;(.
-

[cadetduke]

I got wasted once, side swiped a semi, went to a strip club and then ended up nailing two strippers in the bathroom. Crazy stuff.

[The Man]

Meh, I've never been drunk nor' high. Please don't call me a goody-goody

[CKY]

I know it's probably a bit inappropriate...

Rimmed my ex-girlfriend when we were drunk.

..and liked it.

[Elite-Tek]

If anyones looking for a drun story, search these here forums for "EliteTek Drunk" i'm sure you'll find what your looking for lol.

[#CaMer0n]

My names cameron and im an alcoholic
I been drunk a few times but this is worst drunk story so mine is just when i was at a party my uncles gf's i was the youngest obv. after drinking loads of strong stuff i was like "hey dis feels pretty good. hiccup" i noticed after a while the buzz of being dizzy was fading, so i mixed like some whiskey with coke.. and malibu and vodka ( yes it was a bad idea) So was feeling pretty good until we were driving home, the driver was not drunk i may add. Yes i stopped like 3 times saying "im gona be sick" but actually wasnt until the last stop, then BLEAAAAUUHHH COUGH COUGH SNIFFLE SNEES SPIT! yes thats the only time i had been sick from drinking,

My names cameron and im an alcoholic, but thanks to throwing up ive been sober for a year now!

[Ganonheart]

Dis 1 tym i ws su droonk i pukd ble stufz

[BlightedArt]

I've only done stuff that was "kind of" embarrassing when drunk, but nothing majorly embarrassing.




Though there was that time I woke up in a police costume...

[serial_]

It was a bad week at work and Thurs. night came around and my friends and I decided to get pissed. We were playing magic and watching PP and Aeon Flux (the animated show).

I did the following:

Drank 2 red bulls w/vodka 50/50, had a cig, drank 2 rum & cokes, had a shot of brandy and a shot of vodka, then smoked another cig and a bowl of pipe tobacco. Came back in (a wee bit tipsy about now). I sat down and had another rum and coke, two shots of vodka, and a shot of tequila. We then went to the gas station 4 blocks away and bought cigs and munchies, pretty drunk about now. I harassed the attendant and crawled inside the door to the cooler and shut myself in. I bought some Prime Times and left. I smoked 3 prime times on the way back to the house and when we got back I finished drinking my bottle of skye (about 8-10oz left). Then we decided NOW would be a good time to play bottle caps. This resulted in at least 3 more shots of tequila and a couple swigs of rum.

I then won 5 consecutive cap tosses and jumped up and started owning my friend jacobi's head, Jeremy style! After owning him we got the idea to go to Wal*Mart and get a frozen pizza. I was barely able to walk (i've drank all this and I only weigh 185lbs). we made it into the parking lot before I just randomly dropped trow and started pissing all over the parking lot while my friends (also drunk as shit) are trying to take pictures of it. So there I am spinning in circles while pissing so they can't snapshot my wang.

We make it to Wal*Mart and I stumbled through one of those racks of bread and then crawl into a freezer and start licking the glass. We get a pizza and head to the checkout where I start arguing with the clerk that using big words intimidates people. So I called him a blubbering vagina and stuck my tongue out at him and we left. We got to the sidewalk and I started laughing uncontrollably, when lo and behold we were next to the bus stop when the bus pulls up and stops. I tell the bus driver he can't take me for a ride cause I don't have exact change and I call him a twat.

We get back to the apartment and I start throwing up, talking to God on the big white telephone. I passed out on the couch and came to the next day at 1pm, having supposed to have been to work at noon. I was hung over, throwing up, the rest of that day, and the typical headache/shitty feeling hung over the day after that as well.

^^

I haven't drank since.

[Damilkman]

I know it's probably a bit inappropriate...

Rimmed my ex-girlfriend when we were drunk.

..and liked it.

[Ganonheart]

I know it's probably a bit inappropriate...

Rimmed my ex-girlfriend when we were drunk.

..and liked it.

That is actually more normal than you would think. Just hope she washed before... otherwise there's quite a few things you could have caught.