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I Need Opinions On Part Of A Book I Am Writing

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#1
belthagor

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A story of someone who made a fantasy-like display of bravery and aggression, (assuming the whole world is jolted but we'l get into that later)

In short, the weak version of electroshock is something which can make you have noticable pulses in different parts of your body, they are weak and have no feeling, and this is some setting information.....

(here goes)

I once remember holding someones hand with my left hand in the street. "Tony...Tony....Tony.....Tony, maybe we should go buy a beer later!?"-this did not come out in conversation.
With my right hand I was quickly squeezing my metal and aluminum craftsman and enjoying the magical clinging sound as it repeats and loses count.

I used to take out that craftsman in the street when no one was around and squeeze it twice in a row, just for feeling in my hand through the pride of my work model making in architecture. The only place I can explain my feelings towards turning work into God would be some greater force, no puns or jokes intended. If I had to quote a thought into words it would be "yeah, im walking by and architecture never leaves me". I randomly did this from time to time after classes alone at night, before I slept.

Anywho back to my new friend Tony. We both walked back and forth in front of a building, bored with nothing in our heads and noticed eachother, I am in fact ambidextrous, so we almost shook hands and shared a light "tase" from the middle of nowhere, at least it felt like a light tase, and it was beautiful, because of the fact that holding a half aluminum half painted over metal object made me get burned through my whole body more than him.

......He smiled and left....I complained as he left that people were blasting loud noises near my apt, and me ears hurt..... "please stop, my ears hurt, I dont know if it was you" Il finish explaining the details of our long lasting handshake and the feelings in the pause later.

edit: IGNORE THIS BIZARRE FEINDISH WRITING PLEASE during our "moment in a handshake"
-remember your childhood feelings towards being in a store and wanting an object? some fruit or a drink perhaps....and having a weird want feeling;
While holding Tony's hand in the street I had "it" to no objects with plenty of "pause feelings" in between the same exact thing, at least it felt like you are switching to the same exact thing.....

I also had a bit of a fit beforehand, I yelled a little bit and am unable to discuss this, because I am unsure of what it did, I yelled in several languages both having physical and spiritual meaning in a special order followed by me turning around one last time to yell followed by a pause followed by me walking away.

and this is only the jist of this strange writing -Belthagor

Edited by TheOriginalBelthagor, 28 April 2012 - 02:15 PM.

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#2
The B.I.V.

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This is so...I don't even know where to begin editing something like this....I mean, I could correct the Grammar and spelling errors but it would still be wildly incoherent... confused.gif
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